Bilateral mastectomy done. Chemotherapy done. Radiation not needed. All for my stage 1 ductal carcinoma triple negative type. Now what? Do I need more frequent mammogram? Of what? Of my abdominal fat/tissue that is now my chest? Do I need to have MRI or cat scans? I will find out on my next oncology appointment this month.
Lately, I have been so stressed with my kids. Gone were the post hospitalization days when they actually missed me and were extra sweet and thoughtful. I get to the point that it is no longer fun and rewarding to be a mother. My kids–a teen son (13) and preteen little lady (12) drive me insane to the point that I have crying and screaming pits. One night, I called the police to report my son missing. He failed to go home by six and went home at nine fifteen at night because he “did not realize what time it was.” He had his watch on. My daughter made me upset too. I found out, she had been throwing organic milk and sandwiches in the trash to get food from the cafeteria, running the cafeteria account balance to negative without telling me…My aunt who was visiting comments I don’t need this kind of stress. Stress is not good for me. It can cause my cancer to go back, she says. She may be right. I have to reduce this stress somehow. I need to learn to effectively discipline my kids. Maybe I should check into love and logic.
Aside from the family stress, I have been feeling good physically. I began to tackle my yard and the numerous dandelions and weeds that invaded my abandoned lawn. My kids and I filled up eight trash bags full of weeds and prunings. Imagine that? I walk the dog more too, mostly with auntie who’s visiting me. She will leave tomorrow after helping me declutter the garage, kitchen, kids’ rooms, and the living room. I will miss her.
I have accomplished some things. Cancer treatment is one of them. Soon, I will get Children Discipline 101 down (and done) as well. Oh, well.